Bush Meets Brush

Bush left for his vacation today, although in this "post-Katrina world" (which replaced the "post-9/11 world," which I suppose replaced just the "world") not even Bush can take a month off. So this time he'll be in Crawford for a mere 10 days, presumably clearing brush.

Here are some things he might be thinking about while engaging in one of his many, very manly outdoor activities:

• Lebanon- exploding; wishes America would explode
  
• Israel- exploding; wishes surrounding 5 million square miles would explode
  
• Somalia- it's the new Afghanistan
• Afghanistan- just like the old Afghanistan, but with more opium; also wishes America would explode
  
• Iraq- it's exploding; wishes America would explode it's own country
  
• New Orleans- still 90% destroyed, but now 90% white
  
• Global Warming- makes mountain biking more difficult, because my tires melt.
  
• Cuba- new leader? New leader in that fake Castro beard I wore to a "pimps and hos" party 3 years ago? Wishes Miami would explode.
  
• Venezuela- the President makes friends by making an ass out of me; definitely wishes America would explode
  
• Mel Gibson- what's his deal?!
• Joe Lieberman- note to self: find new head to kiss at State of the Union address, his is being served on a platter by a bunch of bloggers
  
• Rumsfeld- claims he gave me a resignation letter once, but I didn't accept. Do I still have that handy? Maybe I made a Xerox...
• North Korea- trying to be explode-America-capable
• Iran- well on the way to being explode-America-capable

Wow, that'll really kill your runner's high.

Bush Starts 10-Day Texas Vacation (Washington Post)